I travel in many circles that are full of people who want to change the world. Whether they are therapists, therapist educators, spiritual practitioners, or political advocates, changing this messy, wounded world is on a lot of peoples’ hearts. And of course, there are massive differences of opinion and perspective about what a changed world would look like. When I was young and more traditionally religious, I thought we would change the world by saving souls for Christ. As I deconstructed and healed from that part of my life I then believed that we would change the world by getting everyone trauma therapy. At this point in my life, I’ve come to detest the phrase “changing the world.” And hearing others use it sets off my skepticism.
In the opening credits of actress Leah Remini’s docuseries, Scientology and the Aftermath (2016-2019), there is a clip of her from when she was still a scientologist in the late 1990’s, all dressed up for an event, declaring, “Without any Scientology organization, things are not going to change on this planet.” If you watch any documentary on cults or high demand religious organizations, changing the world (or the planet) is a common theme. The organization and the people in it believe that they are a mission to change the world, if not outright save it. Any of the horrible means that they might employ, including but not limited to exploiting people, bullying the vulnerable, taking choice away, and making people cut off ties to their former lives justify their noble mission of bringing about a changed world.
I recently had the chance to watch, along with one of my friends, a docuseries on cults in which she is featured. My mouth hung open in horror as I saw a dramatic re-enactment of how she was treated, hearing her tell the story about how she had to burn her birth certificate and other identifying documents as a measure of “security” to protect their precious mission. When the program was over I simply said to her, “I’m sorry you went through all that.”
To which she replied, “I’m sorry that you went through what you went through too.”
Indeed, growing up in high demand religion is part of my story. On the Evangelical side of things (my father’s chosen expression), a great deal of pressure was placed upon us to save souls by being soldiers for Christ. And the only way that peace would come about in the world is if Jesus reigned supreme over everyone, casting out the influence of other religions and spiritual paths. On both the Evangelical and the Catholic (my mother’s chosen expression) side, the importance of outlawing abortion in order to save the world was emphasized. After I went through a major deconstruction of my faith, I learned that abortion access advocates were not evil and many of them are people of deep faith. And many see assuring abortion access as the difference that they are making to change the world.
I believe that many of us, at one time or another in our lives, have been a part of organizations, companies, faith communities, or even families who believe that they are doing the work of God or some larger calling in order to save the world. And it can be very easy to get caught up in the rhetoric and the frenzy. Speaking purely for myself, it wasn’t just the churches in which I was raised that exposed me to this excitement. I encountered it when I went on to study mindfulness and yoga.
Then there is my involvement with the EMDR Therapy community…
EMDR is a powerful form of trauma therapy that has been at the center of my career for over 20 years. I believe very much in its potential to heal, yet I’ve spoken out before on some of the cultish and extremist dynamics that can be present in the community. One of the mindsets that make my stomach churn is the belief that we have to evangelize or convert the world to this way of healing trauma, because only when everyone has EMDR will the world be transformed!
Moreover, I’ve met so many people in our community with good hearts who are so driven by the world-saving mission of EMDR and trauma therapy. Yet they are still suffering so profoundly themselves. Before I point or wave too many fingers, I must also admit where I was guilty of this displacement at earlier times in my healing. It was easier to focus on healing and even saving others rather than making the profound changes that I needed to in my own life.
While the language of “changing the world” tends to turn me off of a cause, a group or an organization at this point in my life because of what I’ve experienced, I am not completely callous. I would love to see the world change yet I am also not sure that the world and the systems in it really want to change.
So are we working ourselves to the bone for nothing?
Of course there are different feelings and beliefs on this idea. For many people, certainly for people less privileged and who live in greater states of marginalization than I do, the mission of saving or changing the world may feel like a life or death matter. I agree overall that change at the individual level seems futile until certain systems and centers of power change or are completely dismantled. Yet what concerns me is when I see people working only for that external change without attending to the very personal wounds that need to be addressed in their own lives. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. You can be an advocate for the change you want to see happen in the world while also tending to your own heart. The street goes both ways on this one.
Advocates and helping professionals of all kinds regularly burn out or experience high degrees of moral injury when they focus primarily on the external. Consider that even if you are working for a better world, do not neglect the important work of going within. It may not feel that such peace will not be possible until the world and the systems within it can change. Yet knowing what I do about the world, we may be waiting a long time for that to happen. The change you want may never come in your lifetime. Can you provide yourself with some of the relief from suffering that you want others to experience as well?
There are many faith leaders from a variety of global traditions who have taught the importance of changing yourself before changing the world. Beautiful teachings abound which proclaim that we do the work of healing the world when we can reach one other person. I rather like this micro-level focus! In preparing this piece, this teaching attributed to Lao Tzu crossed my path once again. I believe that it states much more elegantly than I can the perspective that I encourage:
If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is no peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.
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